Happy Anniversary in Almaty!

Written on Sunday, December 20, 2009
Today we celebrated our wedding anniversary by doing a little site seeing. When we said our vows 12 years ago, I can assure you I would never have imagined then that my life would take me here. I feel grateful to have followed my heart to this place that enabled Gary and I to celebrate 12 years of marriage in Almaty.

As today was a Sunday, we did not have a visit with Batyrhan. We had the opportunity offered to us to visit Lake Almaty with our translator and two other Belgian couples. Due to a few factors, one being my car sickness issue (in general and specifically here with leaded fumes) and the poor roads one hour up and then back the mountain, we decided that the lake, a beautiful glacial water, would not be something we see this time. I was torn about it until I googled a map of it which actually showed the road to get there from an aerial view. The squiggles alone made me ill. In fact, the driver called them "serpentine."

So Gary and I stayed closer to the hotel and went to Kok Tobe, a recreation facility 10 minutes up a mountain on a cable car with some carnival games (closed), restaurants, a small sad zoo, ping pong, souvenir stores, look out points and a huge children's play area. It's a tourist place that a lot of families here visit with their children and a lot of adoptive families have visited. It gave us a chance to see the city of Almaty from up above the smog filled skyline. Due to the weather or holiday time, most of the things were closed. Even still, we spent 2 hours there door to door and it was a very pleasant time. I was hoping the smell in the air would be even more fresh but I guess we are not high enough up yet to get some good clean oxygen. We did a really fun tobagon ride. I'm usually chicken about these things but it was self regulated and there were no steep drops. It was fun to share the tobogan as well -- a good date activity!



Later on, we went to the Mega Center, a new mall constructed recently and the largest mall of it's kind in Central Asia. The actual shopping experience is not as large as malls I know (not as many stores but yet all lovely), but the mall extends because there are very large additional stores within the mall. For example, there is a store called Booking -- a small version of a book and music and technology store. There is something that appears (in Russian) to say "Techdom" -- and looks exactly like a Best Buy, replete with staff in orange wearing orange Santa style hats. They sell every electronic thing you can imagine here and it's quite nice. As well, there is a full bowling alley, movie theater and Babylon Magic Park, a huge indoor children's play facility that I can't properly equate to anything I have ever seen. Perhaps a play center you might find near Disney. It was a paradise for children and teens - new, clean, fantastic facilities -- including a restaurant, photo studio, entire Little Gym or gymboree style jungle gym inside as well as carnival spinning rides. It was truly beautiful and impressive. I was like "Ohhhh, how I would love to have Emma and Eden's birthday parties here!" ;-)

We ate at Assorti, a great Russian restaurant, in the mall. Gary had a wonderful salmon dish with spinach and sauteed vegetables. I had a dish with cubed chicken, peppers, onions and button mushrooms in a light cream sauce made of what appeared to be a thin sour cream with cumin. It was an extremely tasty meal and the server was a nice Russian guy who was happy to practice his English.

This is the bogus part of Almaty -- taking advantage of perceived "rich" Americans. We were told by a young woman at the reception desk that to go to the mall by the hotel taxi it would be 1000 tenge (about $7) (in fact she told us this same price the day before when we inquired), and we should walk to that Mercedes right out front (Yes, some of the cars are very nice here.) When we got to the car, the driver told us it would be 2000 Tenge (about $14) to get to the mall. When we spoke about the conflict in price, we were followed back into the hotel where a discussion in Russian ensued. The young receptionist then told us, "No, I told you 2000 Tenge" yet her eyes were darting back and forth slightly when she spoke. I said "That wasn't what you said - You said it will be 1000 Tenge with that white Mercedes over there." She said no, that wasn't what she said, and eventually we said no thanks. On the street we found a taxi for 1000 Tenge with a driver who spoke no English but was helpful. He did not even take the 500 Tenge Gary offered as a tip for his hospitality.

Let me talk a little about the women's fashion in Almaty. They obviously care very much about fashion as every single time there is a TV on, in a restaurant or in the common area at the mall, it is on a Fashion Network. It is almost like a uniform the way they dress and it is quite attractive. The uniform on 99% of the younger women from their teens to 30's is, in this weather, a jacket that is shiny and cropped or wool and fitted, often with a belt and perhaps a furry collar. 100% of the women wear fitted skinny jeans or leggings or tights under a short shirt. 99.5% of women wear black boots with a heel, often stiletto, with the boot coming to their knee. The streets here go up when we approach the mountains and it is not an easy walk. Additionally, the streets often have pot holes and motes or huge holes you can get lost in in the dark and cobbled bricks. I do not know how they do it. The other .5% of women wear a high black boot with a flat heel with their fitted jeans. A smaller percentage, the young teens, can be seen in Emu or Uggs, and they give the appearance of the Long Island girls I see in the malls at home. Walking in the mall or along the cobbled streets, I am amazed by the endurance and abilities of these women teetering on such tiny heels. Only they don't look to be teetering at all. Hand bags are held in the crook of their arm, often a shiny material, either man-made material or a patent leather with an attractive embellishment. Most of their jeans look nothing like mine, boot legged and casual -- Their jeans have embellishments on their pockets or thigh area. Studs or rhinestones or metallic stitching. Often the boots will have studs or buckles on the side or near the zipper. None of this is too much - in fact, it is tastefully done as everything is dark and looks sophisticated and almost ready for a date night. The women are all slim, neat and often tall. I said to Gary "I have much to learn from these Kazakh women!" Though I will stick to the flat boots ;-)



I have also noticed that many young girls enjoy walking the streets of Almaty linking arms or holding hands casually. It looks like a very friendly thing to do. I did see two boys hanging in a group of other boys with their arms linked too. It did not give the appearance of a relationship other than friendship, and it was interesting to see how very open they are with affection.



Where Gary and I usually feel we stick out like sore thumbs in the streets here and are often stared at, I felt much more comfortable in the mall. I was approached, just like at home, by 2 groups of English speaking Jehovah's Witnesses who wanted to provide me with "reading material." I felt comfortable to just hang out and eat my ice cream, even when Gary stepped away for a bit.

This tiny ice cream "ball" was $4. No wonder the Kazakh women are so slim. I have much to learn from the Kazakhs about portion control.




Walking into the stores and browsing or smelling the soaps at LUSH made me feel at home. There are an awful lot of security guards or policemen in the mall and streets. I said to Gary, do you feel like you will be arrested for something? After watching these documentaries on HBO, I do feel it could happen. Gary said, it did cross my mind that in this place where we don't speak the language and everyone talks about corruption that we might unwittingly do something stupid and be arrested. That is a terrible feeling to walk the streets with, but it appears we both felt it.

In the new and bright Ramstore, which is the big supermarket attached to the Mega Center and is quite an impressive supermarket (the types of breads alone will floor you), we met an American mother and daughter. The mother is from Colorado and is visiting her daughter (in her 30s) who lives in Almaty. When asked we told them we were adopting a baby and the daughter (Jahnna) told us she works in Baby House #1 with orphans soon to be released, teaching them life and work skills. The kids here, if not adopted, get released from between age 14-18. If they do not have proper work skills to make money, they will turn to prostitution. She also told us that there is an extremely high rate of suicide among children newly released into the world. She said "You are saving one from this." I was amazed by her story, so wish we could have gotten more information and spoken more than the 15 minutes we chatted. She began visiting the orphanages in Russia when she was just 15 years old on a church youth mission group. She then went once a year for 8 years until she was 22. She told her mother from a very early age, "One day I will live over seas and I will help these orphans." Her interest was further reinforced because her best friend at home as a teen was a girl who was adopted at age 15 from Russia. In college, she traveled to Russia and then to Kazakhstan and she and her husband both do the same type of work with the organization that helps them after they are released. She has a two year old son and also has a 19 year old girl living with her who was released from the orphanage but did not have a place to go to. Here is a woman who, to quote our Aunt Esther, is "doing God's work." I was so impressed, so very impressed. I kept telling her "what you are doing is so wonderful, just amazing." And she replied with "You are doing the same. Blessings to you on this adoption." Gary and I spoke and we want to find her again and help her with her cause in some small way. We will not leave this country unchanged.

NYET! NYET! NO BITING!

With a black and blue mark and welt beneath my jeans, I have been initiated into the land of biting children on Day 5 of Bonding. (Since I never experienced this before, any advice is welcome.)

Today started out wonderfully when Batyrhan showed joy and giggles immediately upon seeing us and quickly ran over to Gary to hug him and then, when prompted of course, fell into me. Gary has established himself very well with little Batyrhan, so it was Mommy's turn today. (Gary is very proud of his alpha male status -- we need to even out the playing field ;-) We fed him Puffs, water and a cookie and this time it was only me who would feed him, and while doing so, I would touch his hair or face or back and try to make eye contact. He was reluctant to take the water bottle at first, likely never having experienced it. But after I tried it and showed how to drink, he was eager to drink and almost finished a whole bottle in the 1.5 hours we were together today.







Emma and Eden, do you see your favorite blanket and Wags the Dog in the photos? I brought those with me to keep you close to me in my heart and also so that a part of you could be close to your brother, and for him to begin to get to know some of your favorite. He seemed to like them very much!

Going outside was not such a success. First of all, we attempted to go back to the area with the little ride-on toys and we saw a pack of dogs hanging out in there! I was scared out of my mind -- a big mother dog and six puppies were barking at us, we had not yet approached the play area and it was as if they were guarding their territory. We turned our backs to walk away -- I am not a fan of stray animals and got very nervous. The mother dog gave a yelp/call and all six of her puppies followed her under the fence and out of the baby house grounds. This is not our first encounter with stray dogs. Yesterday in Panfilov Park, a pack of 4 grown dogs appeared to be following us. Gary grabbed my camera by the strap and said to me "Don't look. Just keep walking." He said he would have swung at them if they came near us (Sorry, all you animal lovers -- it's just that to see packs of roaming dogs around is very off putting to me. I was thinking did I have a granola bar in my bag, I would have just thrown it in their general direction. Over all since here, I have seen a total of about 13 or 14 stray dogs, mangy and sometimes bloodied on parts of their body. It is a terrible thing.

So the dogs left the play area but we decided not to go in that direction. Whereas yesterday Batyrhan wanted to hold both of our hands, today he was very independent and wanted to walk everywhere himself.




But he was not so steady on his feet, the terrain was snowy and dirty and wet all over, and it would have been best if he held onto one of us. For some of it we did just let him go on his own, but we also feel like people must be watching out of the windows while we are with him and we doubt all our parenting instincts. After a bit, Batyrhan just kept wanting to sit on the floor and everything was very muddy. He got mud all over himself, I got mud on my hands and all over my jacket. Every time Gary went to get him to lift him up, he would show displeasure and try to lay flat back on the dirty muddy ground. Or if he stood, he would then just drop to the ground. I was so muddy at one point I took dirty snow with God knows what on it to wipe my own hands. It was not working for us outside on this day so we went back inside to wash up and settle down.

The bite occurred when I went to take off Batyrhan's outdoor clothing. I still had his snow pants to remove and I went towards him in an attempt to lift him onto my lap to finish up and he ran towards my legs, his face in my thighs and clamped down his sharp little beautiful teeth on my thigh. (It was just now, upon returning home that I saw the damage.) I immediately got down on my knees, looked him in the eyes and said "NYET! NYET! NO Biting!" We had a new translator today, a guy of 25, and I used him to ask questions of the caregivers. One was does he bite the caregivers and children, and the reply that was written on my piece of paper was "Yes." I will have to ask more questions about this.

Two days ago, our translator (we are up to our third today!) Alecia, said "He just bit my finger!" The way she was holding him and walking with him, I thought perhaps it was an accident. I stored it in my mind but didn't get alarmed. I do notice that every day he is biting everything very hard like a young baby -- the water bottle, all the books, the rings. Is this a sensory issue? I do notice that he now allows me to lift his shirt and gently tickle his back all the way up his shirt. When we tickle his belly, under or over his shirt, that is when we get the belly laughs.

Today was a reality check, which is good, but if he is to bite Emma and Eden or any little friend like Tyler or Henry or Dylan, this will be an extremely terrible thing. I don't know if the tips on the internet about biting will be for 2 year olds in general or if there is any difference in a child who exhibits orphanage behavior?

A few great things that happened today were that, outside, a caregiver fixed his hat better than I had done and lifted him up to hold him, but little Batyrhan reached towards me.


Another was when yet another caregiver came to get him from us because it was time for dinner (Earlier today, on Saturday, at 5pm). We took a photo with this caregiver, named Aigul, and she was holding him. When we positioned ourselves for the photo, he was reaching for me.


I was putting on his boots for outside and signed "Shoes" and when I was getting the other shoe, he put his fists together in the sign for Shoe. His second sign!
After going outside, we gave him a cookie and I insisted he sit on my lap for this "Auter Mama" (Sit mama") He listens to my attempts at Kazakh. Anyway, he would look up at me and offer me bites of his mushy cookie (which I pretended to eat, and he continued to offer.)




When the caregiver fixed his hat and tightened his scarf earlier on, I heard her say, as she was fixing him, something "American." I assumed she was saying something like "What is wrong with these Americans who don't know how to keep their children warm?" When we asked the translator later on, he replied that she simply said to Batyrhan "Come over here, my little American." That was sweet - I'm sorry I assumed the negative, but I do know these Kazakhs value their warmth ;-) It is warm out today for us in our North Face jackets - still about 50 degrees F, but when the translator picked us up in his car today the heat in the car was on in addition to the heat for Gary's individual seat. This translator, another guy like yesterday, was really nice and helpful. He spoke a very polite English -- in fact, he proudly told us he studied at Oxford University for a year and wants to get his masters in Economics.

Today I had my first experience with the infamous Kazakh little "stomach situation", though I don't know what I have eaten that could have caused the issue. It was right after breakfast after I had eaten a meat empanada type thing, perhaps that was it.

Today, Gary and I took a long walk to the American Bar and Grill (locally called Ambar) for a burger for Gary (he liked it very much) and a fajita for me (not what I am used to, but still fine.) I would liken this restaurant to a Friday's or Chilli's -- and is conveniently attached to a "cinema" which we entered to look around. Popcorn is so inexpensive compared to NYC prices -- the largest is only $3, and a small would be 75 cents. A big bag of MnMs was just $1.50. I saw that Avatar was playing and another movie I couldn't figure out. There were a bunch of teens and tweens in the theater with backpacks, as it seems that school had just let out (it was early, like 1:30 pm, so maybe they get out early on Saturdays. Yes, I believe they go to school 6 days a week.)

Overall, our experience with Batyrhan was a little tough, but also taught me the kind of mom I need to be with him. It was reinforced to me how we will have to stick close to home for quite a while and not have too many stimulating situations. I am grateful there will be other Kaz moms to whom I can ask advice, for surely the transition for a 2 year old, will be a lot different than I had thought when I imagined myself with a tinier baby.

Either way, we ain't givin' up on this kid. If anything, he needs us more than ever, and we are the parents for this boy, no matter what. Gary keeps saying "Give it to Daddy" and "Come to Daddy." He has transitioned so beautifully into this role of Daddy and it's a dream come true for me.

Some photos of Batyrhan's warm little layered legs and feet. If you notice, here in Baby Houses, boys can often be found wearing pink and even girls' shoes. Though he looks and smells clean every day, his jacket that he wears has rips in it and he's been wearing the same sweater almost every day we see him. It doesn't matter, here, things like that. As sweet and adorable as these images are, I have visions in my head of my boy in GAP and Ralph Lauren with really great shoes, just like Henry. He deserves this, and more.

This kid sure is smart!!

"Ta Ta!" in Kazakh means "This one!" and that is how he selected this toy in the outdoor play area.

Today was Day 4 of Bonding with Batyrhan and when he was brought into the room to see us, he had a small smile upon his lips and when I opened my arms and encouraged him, he plopped right down on me. Then when Gary said "Give Daddy a hug!", he went right to him.

He seems to have a sinus infection and I have been wiping his nose regularly but I believe he needs an antibiotic because of what is going on in there. I will have to speak to someone about this, though I would hope they already know. He was very happy and content with us, and because we have a new translator (a young guy in his 20s) who left the room during our bonding time, we made it a very mellow quieter time this day. We also brought banana Puffs (Emma and Eden's favorite snack as babies and even now) and more of the wafer cookies. His schedule is such that he eats every four hours but there is an 8 hour block in between lunch and dinner during which he is only fed juice (apple compote) and cookies, which is not enough, I would think, to sustain him for so long. Not to mention, due to the schedule of watching over 8 children, they only allow 15 minutes for eating. Fifteen minutes! No lingering and whatever is not eaten, it's just time for the next activity. Keeping such a routine is of the essence here to make things work smoothly, but it doesn't always benefit growing children who need the nutrients.

Yesterday when Batyrhan got restless after our busy playing, we assumed he might be hungry and gave him a wafer cookie. This gave me the opportunity to sign for him "EAT." He giggled quite a bit at this strange thing I was doing. Today, he mimicked my sign when we did it while eating Puffs. You will see it on the video. Pardon my high pitched exclamations -- Gary said, Jeez, you sound like you just discovered America! I know he was essentially just mimicking but I just think American Sign Language is so important for pre-verbal children and I always dreamed of doing it with my boy. I know Batyrhan is very smart - he mimics and responds appropriately and today, he did a shape sorter very very well. He seems to really enjoy toys that *do* things, with sounds, lights, activities, things to put in and pull out. He seems to like this discovery. Much of the toys I brought, not knowing the child we'd meet here, were babyish. I brought with me rattles and teething toys. How was I to know that it would be an almost 2 year old who would steal my heart?



Each day finds us receiving more and more eye contact from Batyrhan.


Batyrhan is intrigued by sticks and pulling them from the snow. Yesterday, he tried to eat one.



Christmas decor decorate the front entrance of Baby House #3

Major baby proofing will be mandatory once at home as he can get restless and wild at times, though I wonder if its just typical boy stuff. I never had to baby proof anything in my house with my girls! He can play very quietly with toys for a while (ring stacking, gum ball game, stacking cups), but when he appears to be bored or restless or hungry, he seems to need more stimulation with toys and will go from one to the other and will practically pounce on them, but in fact he might be overstimulated but it presents in this manner. He's a quick mover! I have a feeling he just doesn't know what to feel and gets a little wild as he can't express himself. A cookie the past two days while sitting on our laps has calmed him during these times, which usually occur about 1.5 hours into our visit. He might be tired and overstimulated and just not know how to express it. In fact, today we found out that right at 6 pm after our visit with him it was time for his bath time. Though he goes to bed at 9pm here, he is probably read for the bath and settling into his late dinner. Our play times are likely more than he has ever received one on one.

Batyrhan seems to prefer Daddy over me, though goes to both of us with ease. I think it's all the fun silly daddy things that Gary does -- he lets it all out and it cracks me up. You would think I'd be annoyed after all the angst Gary gave me in getting to here, and I do tease Gary about this, but in truth, I couldn't be more happy because when Gary sees Batyrhan looking up at him for more tickles and then falling back against his chest, it is visible that I see Gary's heart opening up more and more.

Is it possible to love another child not born from you? Undoubtedly and most definitely yes. Do I feel love already? I think what I feel is a warmth in my heart and an excitement to see him daily. Perhaps like an extremely new romantic relationship, when you know love can blossom. I know there is so much more inside of us and so much more inside of him that will be broken open slowly. Right now I feel maternal towards him when I feed him, dress him to go outside, direct his attention towards an activity and wipe his nose too. I feel that I am his mother and there will be no one in the future who will love him as I do. I hold him in my arms (when he is still!) and look down at his face, so different from my own, but yet he doesn't feel different from me. His face is so pleasing to look at, his eyes bright, his skin soft, his teeth adorable and his dimple irresistible. Yesterday when no one was in the room, including Gary, I kissed him hard all over his cheeks and his cheeks were squishy and it felt very natural.

I am so happy to be adopting him, so grateful for this union that was made, and so eager to experience us all together as a family. I am also grateful for this chance for me and Gary to establish ourselves with him before Emma and Eden take over and become his little mommies.

The bonding period, and our early afternoon walk inhaling the leaded fumes and smog in the air, must really knock Gary and I out. Each time we walk in the streets and inhale quickly during the brisk walk, I feel more and more nauseous. The smell is like inhaling fumes from a back of the bus -- so between that and the higher altitude here in Almaty, I am not always feeling well (Thankfully my stomach is doing just fine so far!). I might just have to wear a medical mask in the streets soon. We missed dinner yet again having had such high hopes to try out these wonderful sounding local restaurants. Coming back from the baby house after 6 pm, we zonked out and fell asleep at 7:30 pm and slept through the whole night and got up at 4 am. We have only eaten dinner ONCE since being in Kazakhstan, no wonder why our breakfasts are so calorie and protein laden. It's like we are bears hibernating. We snack a bit during the day but it's the dinner time hour that has us falling asleep. There are so many restaurants I want to try - like Mamma Mia's and Safron (Middle Eastern) and American Bar and Grille. I hope today is more successful for us in eating.

Speaking of eating, here is the video: Please pause my playlist to hear it properly.

Three Times a Charm

Day 3 of Bonding with Batyrhan -- December 17, 2009

There was no crying and he came easily to me and plopped on my lap. We also were able to walk outside for 20 minutes so I was able to dress him (what layers!) and walk outside without any accompaniment. To watch Gary with him warms my heart more than any words I type here could ever express. He is quite adorable, though reminds me of a cat sometimes. A quick mover, he appears to pounce. Surely, baby proofing will have to be thorough ;-) Emma and Eden, you are going to adore this little brother. I think he will fit into our family so well and make everyone smile every day! Love you both so much, my big sisters!

I will just post the photos now as my exhaustion prevents me from thinking. For now, enjoy the photos and I will fill in some info tomorrow.

Also, just an aside, I have been very nauseous today, having nothing to do with food. We took a brisk walk today for about an hour and inhaling the fumes of leaded gas and being at a higher altitude has gotten to me. In the car on the way back from the BH, I was also nauseous and now it won't leave me. So it's to bed I go.

Day Two of Bonding with our little boy

Photo above taken at the end of our visit.


Batyhan sure does enjoy his Papa.

I write this post at 3:30 in the morning after having already slept 8 hours. Our schedule is so off that when we get back from the baby house a little after 6, I am too tired for dinner. I go to sleep happy and peaceful feeling like we hit the jackpot. Sometimes when I review our video, I think to myself -- how did i get superimposed into this video, like the countless ones I have seen before of moms bonding with their children? Is this some sort of internet application where I "elfed" myself onto the dancing body of a mom with child. I am still in awe that this is me, that here I am, that I can now look out my window at the darkened mountainous sky of Almaty. I feel so grateful, beyond belief.

Today's visit began at 3:45pm and ended about 5:40pm. This time we went into the Music Room to meet Batyrhan on the second floor which means we had the opportunity to walk down the halls and up stairs a bit. There are blue mosaic tiles on the floor with more caulking than tile but pretty. There are child friendly painted murals on some walls and Christmas decorations and streamers against the bare white walls. How many children live here, I wonder if I will ever be able to tell. Though I have seen some of the other children in passing and heard a few cries, I don't know where they are during the time we are with Batyrhan. We have discovered his name is spelled as one word and that the accent is on the "han". Now we will be able to call him correctly, or at least I hope. We have also discovered that "han" means Sultan of King. He is already a leader with all the wonderful meanings of his name. Hero, Leader, Man of Courage, Dashing Equestrian and now King.

When Batyrhan's caregiver brought him too us I was struck by his bulky outfit in this hot room. He wore a corduroy jumpsuit over 2 t-shirts and another velour shirt (same as yesterday but looked clean.) Underneath, on his bottoms, he had blue tights (yesterday was orange) and socks and very tight (I loosened the buckle) girls white buckled shoes. When I was fixing his overalls i was able to see that he wears a diaper and over the diaper he also wears a plastic non disposable diaper. He is like a little Michelin man.

Corduroys, blue tights, socks and shoes.

He was walked in to see us yesterday and began to cry. We had already lain out a sheet on the floor with all the toys. He was brought to us and we quietly offered him his favorite ball and game from yesterday. He clutched three animal crackers in his hand. He cried for about 2 minutes this time, compared to 10 from yesterday and 30 from the day before. Soon the balls attracted his attention and he put his cookies down and resumed playing as he did yesterday.

Tatyana had brought us to a pharmacy to purchase medical masks that she said we'd have to wear. Somehow when we arrived, we got away without it and just resumed playing as usual. I want Batyrhan to see our faces so I am so glad we got away for at least today without it.

Let me talk about my dear dear dear Gary. I could say how could I have ever doubted him, but his behavior while here and with Batyrhan goes far and beyond more than I ever could have dreamed up, and perhaps more than he ever could have known himself. His heart has already opened to Batyrhan and I asked him this morning in bed, Do you think you can love him? and he quickly said Yes. Jokingly he told me that he is a good leader and he masterminded this entire plan to make me think that I was the one who thought of adoption but it was really him. In fact he said, you think you're writing in your blog because you want to. I have masterminded that as well. I know he was joking, but I also know that he has changed his tune and the story of this adoption will be one he will tell with pride as time goes on.

We have found out that Batyrhan is healthy and the only concern he had earlier on was an umbilical hernia which seemed to have already closed. Before even having gotten the medicals, this Little Brother was coming home with us, no doubt. He is 22 lbs.

Yesterday there was a part of me that felt nervous during the first 20 minutes of the meeting. Like I was on a first date and how could I be interesting -- should I sing first or read a book or show this toy or that. I know it was overwhelming for Batyrhan - small room, two new humans in his face, calling him in a different language. We were in a room that was a passing point for caregivers, there were cries from his group in the next room and it was distracting. Today, I laid low. In fact, I would say I let Gary take the lead and let the bond between Papa and Batyrhan take its course.

Batyrhan speaks Kazakh and when our translator Alicia spoke to him and told him "give ball to papa" and "sit on papa", he listened and followed. I have learned a few words as well such as "ma" =take, "tata"=this one, "auter"=sit, "paka paka" - bye and "Jut"=let's go. Alicia gave me a list of some other key words and I will discover others that I'd like to use with him, like "hug" and "more" and "eat."

We had the pleasure of meeting and shaking hands with one of his caregivers, Svetlana, who said he is a very smart boy (in Kazakh to our translator.) She also said he was very loved while in the Baby House and is the only boy out of his group -- with 7 other girls.

Svetlana, one of Batyrhan's caregivers, who appears to love him.

Our translator, Alicia, interacting with Batyrhan, held by his caregiver.

Papa, Mama, Svetlana and Batyrhan in front of the lovely curtains of the Music Room.

Overall, while in Kazakhstan, I feel a peace. The system works beautifully -- how Tatiana picks us up to help us get our needs met, if any with shopping and such. Even the silence of Emankule in the car, interspersed with his Russian to Tatiana, has become reassuring. I feel part of a well worked machine that is on track and doing it's thing.

Yesterday was independence day and there are other celebrations over the next few days. Gary and I hope to finally walk again and explore the city. The jetlag is such that we wake up in the middle of the night and are so tired in the morning we can't get get ready on time to get out and about and then we are waiting for Tatiana's call in the hotel. We are going to get a cell phone today so we can go take long walks. The weather is mild, warmer than in NY and the other day it was 53 F. On that day, Gary chose to step out of the car to shop in the grocery in only a t-shirt without his jacket and was met by stares from the street as if he had 4 heads. These Kazakhs value warmth and what he did is just not done. We already have a list of local restaurants to try and the mall to visit and hopefully some other cultural things. It's a pleasure to speak to Tatiana because she is a very smart woman who has traveled all over the world, knows so much about her country's history and has been able to provide a background of sorts for why we are here in Kazakhstan adopting. She is cryptic and vague about some things too but I have discovered this is just her way.

We miss Emma and Eden very much and love seeing their faces on Skype. At the same time we realize how this could not have happened with them with us as well as we feel it's going. We know that what we need to do here will only benefit us all when we go home, and my missing them diminishes knowing they are on the other side of the world thrilled with their new little brother and being taken care of extremely well.

Here is a video that speaks volumes about how today went. Please pause my playlist on the bottom of the blog so you can hear Batyrhan speak and giggle. We could not have asked for more.

Thrilled to Introduce the Little Boy We Have Been Dreaming Of!!

Batyr Han - Meaning: Leader, Hero, Athlete and The Dashing Equestrian. But most importantly, the boy who will become our son! After all these twisted roads and fate, it all came down to this. Congratulations to Big Sisters Emma and Eden!! Mommy and Daddy have found our little brother!!

Click on photos to enlarge.

















Pause playlist at the bottom of my blog to hear these videos -- special moments from our first official day of bonding today. After 10 minutes of crying today, Batyr Han finally settled in with us exceptionally well. Enjoy!





Photos taken during Day 1 of Bonding -- Tuesday, December 15, 2009 4-6 pm Almaty, Kazakhstan BH #3

I am writing these notes 36 hours after this day happened and though I said I'd remember all the details, it is hard. I can remember that Batyrhan was brought in to see us in a tiny room off of his group's room. It was a room in between a few rooms and therefore was a passage way for the passing by of caregivers and staff. The room had a desk, and above that was a list of the children in his group and their birthdays. His schedule of classes was also listed. The children get up at 6 am and go to sleep at 9 pm, with a nap from 12-3. They are woken up so early and go to bed so late I guess to allow time for the caregivers to handle the needs of the 8 children. They are fed every 4 hours. I think there is one caregiver and one teacher in his group, though by now it looks like I have seen three different women with him. Or maybe they are all blending in together. Some of them wear medical masks so it's hard to tell. In the room also is a high up window covered by a gauzy curtain, a small refrigerator and a hot plate. There are also lockers on the walls. The rug is an Oriental style rug. Everything seems overall sparse and clean, though far from modern.

Batyrhan was brought in by a caregiver who held him outward with his back against her chest. When he saw us, the first sign of his distress was a very heavy breathing through his nostrils, as if to try to contain himself. But hold back he could no longer do and he cried and cried and cried. The caregiver, desperate to make him stop, got down on bended knee to where I had laid out some toys on a small child's wooden table and just started talking to him and bouncing him and shaking toys in his face, and now this one, and squeak this one and here's this toy and that. All the while Batyrhan was distressed and crying and there was no opportunity, though I was beside them, to do any calm mothering. Finally, our translator said something to her in Russian and the caregiver got up quickly, placed Batyrhan on the floor facing us and quickly hightailed it out of there! She did come back with two candies and one Animal cracker. These candies are such that I would never ever give a child of this age, especially with all the choking fears I have after having witness severe situations with Eden and Emma. The candy was like a very hard caramel, shaped like a small tootsie roll but a very hard chew. He put the whole thing in his mouth and seemed to do fine but my heart was in my throat.

After about 10 minutes of solid crying after which I kept murmuring my concerns over his sadness, he discovered that he loved the Gumball machine toy which spits out the balls when you press a lever, donated to us here by Jen. We taught him how to use it and he eventually got the hang of the process of put balls in, press lever down and back again. He enjoyed the game where Gary would teeter the ball on the edge and then push it in.

We took out many toys but the gumball was a favorite as well as a few finger puppet books. Surprisingly bubbles did not go over so well. He did his heavy breathing a bit and then didn't look too interested. The balloon was only interesting for a minute. But I also think that, since he liked balloons after Day 2, all this was just because everything was so new and overwhelming, and the room was distracting in a way.

As the photos show, we did manage to get some giggles and smiles from Batyrhan. What a joy to see his little teeth (8 on top and 6 on bottom -- 2 molars each on top and bottom). What a joy to see bright eyes and a wide smile and adorable teeth.

I kissed his cheek for the first time today and breathed in, wondering what this boy would smell like and was happy to detect a faint scent of a baby style soap. His face could look cleaner, but he's also eating candy and cookies. But his hair looks clean and his fingernails look clipped well.

One interesting thing I noted was that I wanted to take a peek and see what his back looked like and when I left up his 3 shirts, he whipped around so fast and pushed my hand away with strength. He did not like the touch of my hand on his bare skin, and yesterday did not like Gary to touch his leg over his tights. (Day 2 was different as he wanted to be tickled.) Soon enough, I was able to blow cool air on his back with my mouth and make him smile (he was probably boiling hot!) and by the very end of the visit, I was able to gently caress the 3 square inches of his lower back while he played happily and ignored my touch. I guess it is all about trust.

When it was time for the caregiver to come take him back, we all waved and said "paka paka" with this little arm flapping up and down. As we gathered our things, he could still see us through the open doorway of his group's room and we looked back at him looking back at us and his arm flapped back and forth again.

I left there feeling a happiness, a sweet sadness and a relief - this little guy is going to be our boy and it's going to work out just fine.